Cross, Mountain, Child

Gah!  So incredibly not true.  I'm such a baby at these new cards, I am, of course, turning to the experts to tell me what is being said.

Today I got Cross, Mountain, and Child as the outcome card. Cross is the subject, mountain the adjective.

The question simmering in the back of my mind these last several weeks is "where in the hell is my devotional focus?"  I can go by rote, but I'm not feeling it. I'm looking at these books I've collected so long and thinking... what is this? These people don't know any more than I know -- they're making shit up.  Well, a few of them I still look to with deference -- the big guys, Dion Fortune and Doreen Valiente -- those guys. But the dozens of pagan cookbooks I've got on my shelf with rituals and rhymes. They are beginning to irk me. I have loved these for a long time. But now, I'm wanting to send them on to whoever should need them, except I expect no one needs them. Things have shifted. Not only for me, I think. I think we've grown up and we don't need Reclaiming giving us rhymes or Silver giving us spells.

I recently fell head over heels for Arthurian legend. I mean, baby, I FEEL it. But it's not a religion is it?  Anyway, it was a distraction and I think it was to keep my mind busy a bit with other matters while something took shape. As one book of Merlin said, I  need to know which God is calling me.

May I digress and say, Frigga and Forsetti are my Goddess and God. Or have been. Lately, it's been more about the Ancestors than anyone else.

But the wheel is in spin.

It's THIS the cards was addressing. Lenormand experts tell me differently. But I know what I know. And I'm not into experts at this time.

What it is telling me and reassuring me with -- "you have built this devotion over many years, and it is taking a new turn, but this does not discard what has been built, it only takes it in new directions. Allow...."